Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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