Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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