i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
