Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
