one two three fourrrrnication!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
