and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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