: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
where does the pee come out of this thing
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
