I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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