No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nutella sex= disaster
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
