We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
