lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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