How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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