I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
