Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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