Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
