my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
fuck your aforementioned shoe
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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