I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
