is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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