she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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