just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
