i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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