would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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