I'm going to jail i love you
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
