Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
how does that bad decision feel?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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