What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
