You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize