When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
