I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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