We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize