I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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