It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
