My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
