Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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