Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
