Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
