You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
