I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize