Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
