when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
