would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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