Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
