I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
