you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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