Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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