Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
