Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
