She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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