Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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