So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
how does that bad decision feel?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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