sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize