i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
