Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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