Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
