scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
