well I can't set my house on fire every night
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Drunk is not a location!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
