You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
