Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
