i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
