Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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