Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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