My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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