Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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