It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
