About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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