Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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