you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize