Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
