so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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