Soap is not a condiment
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
