Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
