Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize