woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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