I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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